With a Little Help from Led Zeppelin

This chat ended up being really funny to me. I let about five others go today but I was feeling mean when this one struck. And he helped thing by being a total ass. At the end, when he gets fed up, he switched his font to red, italicized and underlined. It was so funny to me, I screenshotted it as proof; you can see it here. lol — I hope you’re familiar with your Led Zeppelin lyrics as you read this one.

This chat took place December 2007.

[22:15] hasana_alhassan007: HELLO
[22:15] *** Auto-response sent to hasana_alhassan007: In and out — but more out than in. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you on an innie.
[22:15] hasana_alhassan007: *BUZZ*
[22:23] ME: why the fuck are you buzzing me?
[22:23] ME: are you just an asshole or do you have reading comprehension problems?
[22:23] hasana_alhassan007: OH
[22:23] hasana_alhassan007: AM AMINU
[22:24] hasana_alhassan007: FROM WEST AFRICA GHANA
[22:24] ME: shocking
[22:24] ME: really
[22:24] ME: how exotic
[22:24] hasana_alhassan007: WELL AM 35YRS OLD
[22:24] hasana_alhassan007: U?
[22:25] ME: is there some reason why I should care how old you are?
[22:25] hasana_alhassan007: YEAH
[22:25] hasana_alhassan007: AM LOOKING FOR A SOUL MATE BABY
[22:25] ME: hahahahahahahaha
[22:25] ME: hahahahahahahahahahhaa
[22:25] ME: hahahahahahhahahahaa
[22:26] ME: well, BABY, I don’t think you’re gonna find one here.
[22:26] ME: I’m a big old lesbian.
[22:26] hasana_alhassan007: OH COOL
[22:26] hasana_alhassan007: BABY
[22:26] ME: yeah, BABY
[22:26] hasana_alhassan007: WHAT IS UR NAME?
[22:27] ME: Wilhelmena Bobina Oopentakin-Walkintalkin
[22:27] hasana_alhassan007: WOW
[22:27] hasana_alhassan007: NICE NAME BABY
[22:27] hasana_alhassan007: SO HOW OLD ARE U BABY
[22:27] ME: Depends
[22:28] hasana_alhassan007: WANTS TO KNOW HOW OLD ARE U BABY
[22:28] ME: well, BABY, I was born on Leap Year day so I’ll be celebrating my 9th birthday in 2008.
[22:29] hasana_alhassan007: WOW
[22:29] hasana_alhassan007: THAT GOOD
[22:29] hasana_alhassan007: BABY
[22:30] hasana_alhassan007: WHICH DATE OF THE YEAR 2008 ARE U COMING TO CELEBRATE UR BIRTH DAY
[22:30] hasana_alhassan007: ?
[22:30] ME: Uhm, hello, Leap Year Day — does that mean nothing to you? Are you mentally challenged? That would be February 29. duh
[22:31] hasana_alhassan007: OH I SEE
[22:31] hasana_alhassan007: VERY NICE
[22:31] ME: yeah, very nice
[22:31] ME: so nice
[22:31] ME: really fucking nice
[22:31] hasana_alhassan007: WELL WHERE DO U8 COME FROM BABY
[22:31] hasana_alhassan007: ?
[22:31] ME: I come from a land of the Ice and the Snow (And with that line, my Led Zeppelin idea was hatched)
[22:32] hasana_alhassan007: OH YEA…
[22:32] hasana_alhassan007: WHAT IS THE NAME BABY
[22:32] ME: Don’t you know your geography, BABY
[22:33] hasana_alhassan007: I KNOW
[22:34] ME: well, then you know the midnight sun where the hot springs blow
[22:34] hasana_alhassan007: OH YEA..
[22:35] hasana_alhassan007: WELL CAN I SEE U ON CAM NOW BABY
[22:35] hasana_alhassan007: U LOOK VERY NICE TO ME
[22:35] ME: uhm, no. Can’t do that.
[22:35] ME: I’m naked
[22:35] hasana_alhassan007: OH
[22:36] hasana_alhassan007: GET SOME CLOTH TO COVER UR SELF AND LET ME VIEW U
[22:36] ME: Hey, hey, Ghana, said the way you move, gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove.
[22:36] hasana_alhassan007: I WANT TO SEE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN TALKING TO ME
[22:36] hasana_alhassan007: BABY
[22:37] ME: I wanna watch your honey drip — can’t keep away
[22:38] ME: Walkin in the park just the other day, BABY, what do you, what do you think I saw?
[22:39] hasana_alhassan007: WELL BABY LET ME VIEW U OR I GO
[22:39] ME: oh gee, promise?
[22:40] hasana_alhassan007: THEN LET ME SEE U NOW
[22:40] ME: no — I want to see if you’re a man of your word. No view… let me go.
[22:41] hasana_alhassan007: I DONT HAVE CAM BABY
[22:42] ME: You better open your eyes. Folk down there really dont care, really dont care, dont care, really dont which, which way the pressure lies. So Ive decided what Im gonna do now. So Im packing my bags for the misty mountains where the spirits go now, over the hills where the spirits fly, ooh, I really dont know.
[22:43] hasana_alhassan007: OK BYE
[22:43] hasana_alhassan007: IF U DONT LET ME VIEW U NOW BABY
[22:44] ME: hahah — you keep saying that.
[22:44] ME: and yet, you’re still here!

he actually leaves here but I decide to continue to annoy him – -and it works…

[22:44] ME: If it keeps on rainin, levees goin to break,
[22:45] ME: If it keeps on rainin, levees goin to break,
[22:45] ME: When the levee breaks Ill have no place to stay.
[22:47] ME: You need coolin, baby, Im not foolin,
[22:48] hasana_alhassan007: IF SO THEN LET ME SEE U
[22:48] ME: Im gonna send you back to schoolin,
[22:48] hasana_alhassan007: OR U SHOULD DISTERPING ME
[22:49] hasana_alhassan007: WHEN BABY
[22:49] ME: Wanna whole lotta love?
Wanna whole lotta love?
Wanna whole lotta love?
Wanna whole lotta love?
[22:49] hasana_alhassan007: I WILL LIKE TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL
[22:49] hasana_alhassan007: BABY
[22:49] ME: Youve been coolin, BABY, Ive been droolin,
[22:49] ME: All the good times Ive been misusin,
[22:50] ME: Way, way down inside, Im gonna give you my love,
[22:50] ME: Im gonna give you every inch of my love,
[22:50] ME: Gonna give you my love.
[22:50] ME: Yeah! all right! lets go!
[22:51] ME: Did you get the invitiation to view my webcam? (of course, such a thing was never sent)
[22:51] hasana_alhassan007: NO BABY
[22:51] ME: hmmm.. let me try again
[22:51] hasana_alhassan007: INVITE ME BABY
[22:51] ME: there — did you get it?
[22:52] hasana_alhassan007: NO
[22:52] ME: This is pissing me off almost as bad at the time I spent my days with a woman unkind,
[22:52] ME: Dumb bitch smoked my stuff and drank all my wine.
[22:52] hasana_alhassan007: OH
[22:52] ME: ok. I invited you again. Did it work?
[22:53] hasana_alhassan007: SO U ARE FOOLING ME BABY
[22:53] ME: You need coolin, baby, Im not foolin,
[22:54] ME: Telling myself its not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.
[22:54] hasana_alhassan007: OK
[22:54] hasana_alhassan007: HAVE U MARRIWED
[22:54] hasana_alhassan007: MARRIED
[22:55] ME: I was once — I will again…. Someone told me theres a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.
[22:55] ME: when I meet her, I’ll marry her.
[22:56] ME: To find a queen without a king;
[22:56] ME: They say she plays guitar and cries and sings.
[22:56] ME: La la la la
[22:56] ME: Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn
[22:57] hasana_alhassan007: SO U ARE A MAN TALKING TO ME
[22:57] ME: Tryin to find a woman whos never, never, never been born.
[22:57] ME: no
[22:57] ME: I’m a lesbian
[22:57] ME: I told you that already you stupid douchebag
[22:57] hasana_alhassan007: FUCK U
[22:57] hasana_alhassan007: FUCK U
[22:57] hasana_alhassan007: DAM
[22:57] hasana_alhassan007: BICTH
[22:57] ME: you are so fucking retarded. I can’t believe how funny you are.
[22:58] ME: I hope you don’t mind, but I’m putting this chat up on my blog.
[22:58] ME: actually, I hope you DO mind.
[22:59] ME: Heartbreaker, your time has come,
[22:59] ME: Cant take your evil way;
[23:00] ME: Go away,
[23:00] ME: Heartbreaker.
[23:00] ME: Heartbreaker!