Like Too Friend Ship Real

I must have amazing powers. The ease and speed at which I can created meaningful relationships full of love and promise astounds me. Take, for example, Maqsood. He was unable to hide is budding feelings. I am actually fairly certain that had I continued chatting with this idiot, he would have ended up in the “scammers” category instead of the “asshats” one.

This chat is from August 2007.

[21:56] maqsood209a: hi
[21:56] *** Auto-response sent to maqsood209a: In and out — please leave a message
[21:56] maqsood209a: how are u
[21:57] maqsood209a: i see ur pic
[21:57] maqsood209a: i want too talk dear
[21:57] maqsood209a: pls
[21:58] maqsood209a: *BUZZ*
[22:12] missfoureggs: I’m so sorry.
[22:13] missfoureggs: I was being punished and couldn’t come to the computer in time.
[22:13] maqsood209a: pls talk me
[22:13] missfoureggs: I AM talking to you.
[22:13] maqsood209a: i like u
[22:13] missfoureggs: Awww… how sweet.
[22:14] missfoureggs: It’s my sparkling personality, isn’t it?
[22:14] maqsood209a: i want u friend ship
[22:14] maqsood209a: i see ur nice look pic i like u
[22:14] maqsood209a: i need women life
[22:15] maqsood209a: i love u my heart
[22:15] maqsood209a: if u like me friend
[22:15] missfoureggs: aww… you love me long time too?
[22:15] maqsood209a: sure
[22:15] maqsood209a: u belive me
[22:15] maqsood209a: i care u very
[22:15] missfoureggs: I thank you very
[22:15] maqsood209a: @};- only u rose love
[22:15] missfoureggs: omg! that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever emoticoted to me.
[22:16] maqsood209a: you are great women i feel
[22:16] missfoureggs: I AM great woman you right
[22:16] maqsood209a: first time see ur pic touch my heart ur look u belive i tell u honset my feeling
[22:16] maqsood209a: yes i hope u are great
[22:17] missfoureggs: the first time I see your IM my heart beat faster too
[22:17] maqsood209a: nice too meet u and thanx god fond nice women
[22:17] maqsood209a: i am honset man
[22:18] missfoureggs: oh good. i no lie either.
[22:18] maqsood209a: nice talk
[22:18] maqsood209a: what is ur good name
[22:18] missfoureggs: My good name is Eggsie. what is your good name?
[22:18] maqsood209a: nice name
[22:19] missfoureggs: too common
[22:19] maqsood209a: my good name maqsood ahamd
[22:19] missfoureggs: good good
[22:19] maqsood209a: ty ty
[22:19] maqsood209a: i am maqsood ahmad
[22:19] maqsood209a: my age 32
[22:20] missfoureggs: I am Eggsie Klevinger my age a spritely 72
[22:20] maqsood209a: ohhh very old but no problim 72 age best is my feeling for u
[22:20] maqsood209a: best is like too like right
[22:20] missfoureggs: age is only a number
[22:21] maqsood209a: no matter age best honset love
[22:21] missfoureggs: I am excellent at photoshop
[22:21] maqsood209a: yes only is numer
[22:21] missfoureggs: yes only is
[22:21] maqsood209a: yes
[22:21] missfoureggs: yes
[22:21] maqsood209a: i want u are my life friend
[22:22] missfoureggs: I want that you are my baby daddy
[22:22] maqsood209a: h have baby <— hahhahah — I think he just stuttered
[22:22] missfoureggs: w what?
[22:22] maqsood209a: tell ur life pls
[22:23] maqsood209a: where are u from
[22:23] missfoureggs: I am from a land in the middle of the sea, perhaps you have heard of it
[22:23] maqsood209a: u mean usa
[22:24] missfoureggs: hahaha hahhahahaha
[22:24] maqsood209a: pls tell me
[22:24] missfoureggs: I am from a little island called Marmeseque in the middle of hte Pacific Ocean
[22:25] maqsood209a: ok ur country name
[22:25] missfoureggs: oh my country tis of thee USA now
[22:25] maqsood209a: ok city name
[22:25] missfoureggs: Marmeduke
[22:26] missfoureggs: not to be confused with Marmelade
[22:26] missfoureggs: that’s jelly
[22:26] maqsood209a: no
[22:26] maqsood209a: i like very far from
[22:26] missfoureggs: where is your good country?
[22:26] maqsood209a: i know new yark city
[22:26] maqsood209a: pak
[22:26] missfoureggs: i see
[22:27] maqsood209a: yes
[22:27] missfoureggs: yes
[22:27] maqsood209a: can i see
[22:27] missfoureggs: I don’t know. Do you have working ocular orbits?
[22:28] maqsood209a: pls cam open i want very u see real pic
[22:28] maqsood209a: i amprech u
[22:28] missfoureggs: oh my goodness. I don’t know how to use thhose newfangled gadgets!
[22:28] maqsood209a: no mind
[22:29] maqsood209a: my english poor
[22:29] maqsood209a: but i try u undersnt
[22:29] missfoureggs: it’s ok. I’m just old.
[22:29] maqsood209a: no problim old
[22:29] maqsood209a: best is like too like
[22:29] missfoureggs: no — except when your bladder leaks into your undies.
[22:30] maqsood209a: are u marriod
[22:31] missfoureggs: Oh yes. For the 5th time. They all keep dying on me. That’s why I married a spritely 25 year old this time. He’ll take care of me.
[22:31] maqsood209a: ok
[22:31] maqsood209a: one ask u
[22:31] missfoureggs: what?
[22:32] maqsood209a: like too friend ship real
[22:32] missfoureggs: uhm, ok. (I have no idea what he was talking about here)
[22:32] maqsood209a: thanx u
[22:33] maqsood209a: add me my friend list ur id
[22:33] missfoureggs: oh dear. Here comes that nurse Ratchett with my medicine.
[22:33] missfoureggs: I have to run.
[22:33] maqsood209a: when u back
[22:33] maqsood209a: i need u very
[22:33] maqsood209a: add me pls
[22:33] *** maqsood209a has added you to their contact list. You may choose to accept or deny this action. You may also add this user to your contact list or ignore this user.
[22:34] *** maqsood209a has been ignored.

Ooops! Did I hit the wrong button at the end there??