I’m Going to Get Arrested!!!

Ohnoz!!! It seems as thought I’ve gone and messed with the wrong Nigerian Scammer (don’t let the reference to being in the UK fool you – heh). I was just doing my thing and being a smart ass and now I have to spend my days wondering when the FBI is going to show up at my door and arrest me. Of all the dumb luck…

This chat took place April 18, 2008… Gonna run and hide now…

[21:39] lauren_dickson_boh2000: Hello i am Lauren Dickson form england .We are looking for Representatives in the United States who will work as a part-time worker,and we are willing to pay you $300 – $600 per week (depending on how fast you work) So if you wish to know what the job consist do reply me. Thanks
[21:40] ME:: wow. Awesome. I’m always snorting coke so I can work REALLY fast.
[21:41] lauren_dickson_boh2000: Do u want to know what the job consist now ?
[21:41] ME:: oh, shit yeah! Lay it on me!
[21:42] ME:: brb – my dealer’s at the door
[21:42] lauren_dickson_boh2000: Ok
[21:42] ME:: ok. thanks for waiting. Got my fix. So what’s the 411?
[21:42] *** lauren_dickson_boh2000 has added you to their contact list. You may choose to accept or deny this action. You may also add this user to your contact list or ignore this user.
[21:43] *** You have denied access to lauren_dickson_boh2000.
[21:43] ME:: why do I have to add you? Tell me what the job is first.
[21:43] lauren_dickson_boh2000: what do u mean 411 ?
[21:43] lauren_dickson_boh2000: becoz i think u might be long
[21:43] ME:: the low-down, the skinny, the story, the news, the info
[21:43] lauren_dickson_boh2000: that why
[21:43] ME:: I’m not long. I’m really quite short
[21:43] lauren_dickson_boh2000: since u said that u will brb
[21:43] ME:: 5’2″ to be exact
[21:43] ME:: I’m back
[21:44] lauren_dickson_boh2000: Well we are located at uk 14 Penryn Avenue St Helens Merseyside WA11 9EX, United Kingdom.We are an orphanage home.We have people and organisation who want to donate to our orphanage home ( Bottomley Home Orphanage )and the donation are bein made out to us in check …
[21:45] ME:: so you need me to secure you some orphans?
[21:45] lauren_dickson_boh2000: The check will be mail out to ur destinition,if u know that u are willing to work with us as our company Rep,so all u gotta do is for u to reciecve the check …
[21:45] ME:: wow! That sounds so easy!
[21:45] ME:: and so legit!
[21:45] ME:: cool
[21:45] lauren_dickson_boh2000: Then you cash the check, and take 20% of the money and send the balance to us via western union money transfer with eas..
[21:45] ME:: it just keeps getting better and better!
[21:46] lauren_dickson_boh2000: But first i got a minor question to ask u,and i beleive u are gonna respond with ease …
[21:46] ME:: ooh, I can’t wait
[21:46] ME:: I like minor questions
[21:46] lauren_dickson_boh2000: can i trust u with our company money that’s gonna be mail out to u ?
[21:47] ME:: probably not. 😦
[21:47] lauren_dickson_boh2000: Why ???
[21:47] ME:: becaues I’m a crack head
[21:47] lauren_dickson_boh2000: So u aren’t a trust worthy some
[21:47] ME:: not really. Are you?
[21:47] lauren_dickson_boh2000: I’m a honest person
[21:48] lauren_dickson_boh2000: and i can be trusted
[21:48] ME:: No doubt
[21:48] ME:: you seem that way
[21:48] lauren_dickson_boh2000: so my compnay entrust me
[21:48] ME:: not like all the fucking Nigerians. I’m glad you’re english.
[21:48] lauren_dickson_boh2000: Well all u gotta provide to get started is :
[21:49] lauren_dickson_boh2000: 1. Your Names (Which will be on the check) 2. Your Address (Where the check would be sent) 3. Your Home and cellphone Number 4. Your Email Address
[21:49] ME:: coming right up, hotstuff.
[21:51] ME:: 1. Magdelina Hagdelina Ooomptonkawonkatonka 2. 123 Fuckoffyouidiot Street, Nowheresville, XY 12345 3. I have no phone because I sold it for crack 4. bitemyasshole@hotmail.com
[21:52] lauren_dickson_boh2000: oh…okay
[21:52] lauren_dickson_boh2000: Magdelina
[21:52] lauren_dickson_boh2000: Hagdelina
[21:52] lauren_dickson_boh2000: Ooomp
[21:52] lauren_dickson_boh2000: tonka
[21:53] lauren_dickson_boh2000: wonkatonka
[21:53] lauren_dickson_boh2000: Fuck
[21:53] ME:: are you going to say “YOU” or just leave me in suspense
[21:53] lauren_dickson_boh2000: Fuck off you idiot street
[21:54] lauren_dickson_boh2000: No wheres ville
[21:54] lauren_dickson_boh2000: is that all ur address info
[21:54] lauren_dickson_boh2000: i got it …
[21:55] lauren_dickson_boh2000: FBI will be visiting u for wasting my time
[21:55] lauren_dickson_boh2000: and u are also mocking my company
[21:55] ME:: HAHAHAHHAHAHA
[21:55] ME:: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA
[21:55] ME:: HAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA
[21:55] ME:: hahahhaha (I am laughing to mask my fear, of course)
[21:55] ME:: PLEASE call the FBI
[21:55] ME:: thanks!
[21:55] lauren_dickson_boh2000: fuck uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
[21:55] ME:: My story was more honest than yours.
[21:55] ME:: lol
[21:55] lauren_dickson_boh2000: ass hole
[21:55] ME:: you are funny
[21:55] lauren_dickson_boh2000: i saved all our conversation
[21:56] ME:: GOOD!
[21:56] lauren_dickson_boh2000: fuck
[21:56] ME:: thanks!
[21:57] ME:: Have a great night, Toots!